I have the honor of working with many pregnant women as they prepare for birth. I have come to view this betwixt and between time with awe. Through this work I noticed that the way our culture talks about pregnancy and birth causes women to doubt themselves on a very deep level. I am continually surprised and dismayed when powerful and self assured women begin making decisions about their diets, habits, and birth plans out of guilt and fear. So often, women do things they feel they “should,” do without any thought to whether this choice suits who they are as women.
Recently, I was working with a wonderful creative woman who, as her due date approached, was beside herself with fear. She was uncomfortable in her own skin, doubted her ability to proceed with her plan for a natural birth, and worried about her ability to be a good mom.
As we were talking I asked her, “why do you want to have a natural birth?”
She thought for a moment and replied, “I want a natural birth because it is better and healthier for the baby.”
Without thinking I replied, “Your baby is going to be fine. This birth is about you. This birth is about what kind of mother you want to be and as long as you choose your path from an honest place, your baby will be just fine.
Those of you who know me know that I sometimes speak without thinking. This has about 50/50 chance of backfiring. However, the more I sit with what I said, the more I believe it to be true and want to shout it from rooftops. Obviously, I don’t think people should behave irresponsibly while pregnant. But when it comes to the details of a birth plan or how you feed yourself while pregnant, I do think that women would feel happier and more empowered if they followed their own instincts rather than relying on expert opinion, be they those of doctors, mommy blogs that make everything seem perfect all the time, or pother moms.
No two women are the same and no one knows your needs better than you do. If you approach this transformational time with the same intrepid spirit that sent you on your first international adventure, got you through art school, landed you your first job, and made you CEO of the company you founded, I am absolutely certain and you will be an awesome mom. Seriously.
